Why is it that I specifically took this job so that I could productively use my downtime to study and I have yet to really do that at all? Yeah, I’m not sure what my deal is. It just seems that if I start to read something I get a phone call in, or someone needs a pillow. Pretty worthless. So generally when we’re slow I just sit here, maybe waste time on-line - and I don’t mean looking up interesting facts or anything like that. I mean basically just staring at the screen until I redirect the browser to another site to putz on for a bit.
Also, I’ve been having trouble trapping myself in an overly nihilistic viewpoint lately. What the hell am I going to do for the rest of my life? I would love to get to grad school, (or so I think) but my grades really won’t help me there. Besides which, I’m just gonna die eventually anyhow… My idealistic plan was to get published in philosophy so that “my legacy lives on,” pretty much a pipedream anyhow. Not to mention my lack of any kind of scholarly credentials.
I don’t really know if I want kids either, so it’s not like I’ll pass down anything in the biological sense either. Why would anyone want to have kids in the kind of shithole the world is anyway?
So really, where do I go from here? To hell most likely, if Christianity holds any truth to it.
I’m going to try to actually make some progress on my paper against Intelligent Design “theory” tonight. I had started the project earlier this semester but quickly realized that I bit off much more than I could chew, (in one term paper anyhow) as is my style. The goal of the paper is to present the very best argument possible - not just a half-assed representation, easy to refute - and then tear it apart with my bare teeth. I had planned to give a similar treatment of Darwinian Evolution, though I remain convinced that it would stand up to more critizisms (evolution is not totally without its critisizms). I’m sure you can see why the subject matter is of a much wider scope than I can handle in a single semester term paper.
Well, I guess I’m done now.